What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is not a private matter. It is a serious crime. It can include physical, sexual, psychological, or emotional abuse of one current or former intimate partner by another. You can be a victim of domestic violence no matter how old you are, what your racial or cultural background may be, what type of education you have, how much money you have, or what your religious beliefs may be.

Domestic violence is usually not a single event and often becomes more severe and frequent over time. Many batterers are not violent in other relationships, such as work or with friends. They routinely deny the domestic violence and the severity of that violence. When confronted with their abusive behavior, they tend to blame their partner for provoking it or refuse to accept responsibility for it.

Domestic violence victims suffer physical injuries that endanger their health and may result in lifelong disabilities. These injuries may interfere with job performance and result in dismissal or lost promotion opportunities. Besides physical violence, abusers may use emotional and verbal abuse, isolation, and threats to maintain power and control over their partners. Threats, whether of violence, suicide, or taking away children, are a very common tactic used by batterers.

The emotional effects of domestic violence can often be more devastating than the physical assaults. Victims may lose touch with friends and family due to abusers’ attempts to isolate them. As a victim’s support system breaks down, so does his or her self-esteem. Domestic violence affects every family member, even if he or she has not been abused.

If you are a Victim of Domestic Violence:

The most difficult step for you to take is to admit that you are being or have been abused by your partner. Remember, your partner’s violence is the problem, not you. You do not provoke it. You do not deserve it.

You may feel trapped, alone, and that you have lost control of your life. You may have nightmares or flashbacks of abusive incidents. Your eating and sleeping habits may change. You may feel depressed or hopeless and lack interest in things you once enjoyed. The physical and emotional suffering you experience may seem to use up all the energy you have.

Your safety is the first priority, and only you can truly judge what will be the safest and best way to handle your situation. If you are being abused, you should consider all options when trying to find a way to end the violence as safely as possible.

Every person in an abusive relationship needs a safety plan that has been developed for that person’s situation and circumstances. Domestic violence shelters and advocates can help you develop one for your situation. If you feel it is safe, let trusted friends and family know about your situation. They can be part of your safety plan. Know where to get help. Tell someone what is happening to you.

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