What is Sexual Violence?

Sexual violence includes any type of sexual contact or conduct that is forced, coerced, or not consensual. Invasions of space and privacy, like stalking, flashing, and obscene phone calls are also forms of sexual violence.

Common Feelings: Survivors of sexual violence often feel upsetting and confusing emotions, like: fear, anxiety, guilt, embarrassment, anger, grief or despair. It is never too late to talk to someone about your feelings.

Common Myths About Sexual Violence:

• She asked for it. No one asks to be raped or sexually assaulted. The victim’s appearance is not the issue in question. Consent is the issue.
• It can’t happen to me. Anyone can be a victim, no matter what their age, race, gender, educational background or income level. Men can be raped or sexually assaulted.
• The main reason for rape is sex. Power, anger and control are the reasons for rape—not sex.
• Rape occurs only among strangers. Only 22 percent of rape cases involve strangers. The rest, 78 percent, are committed by individuals the victim knows well—a spouse, father, boyfriend, relative, friend, neighbor, or co-worker.
• Rape does not happen in marriage. One piece of domestic violence is rape by a husband/wife. When a spouse is forced into having sex, it is rape.
• No one can be forced to have sex against one’s will. A victim can be coerced by physical force or threat of injury or death. A victim can also be paralyzed by shock or fear, or be trapped in a locked or isolated area with the rapist.
• Most rape victims suffer physical injuries that you can see during an attack. The fact is that over two-thirds of rape victims, because of fear, shock, or simply being physically overwhelmed, do not resist an attack and, therefore, do not sustain any bruises, marks or other visible physical injuries.
• The best way to heal is to just “put it behind you,” or “forget about it”. Everyone handles the trauma of a sexual assault differently. However, it is generally not possible to “put an assault behind you” or “just get over it.” Instead, it is possible to learn to become healthy around the assault, recognizing that it is part of your life and the trauma is real and significant, but that the experience of the assault doesn't control your life. It can take several years to reach this point, and the process of healing is ongoing.

If you are a Sexual Violence Survivor:

If you do not have visible physical injuries from the assault, friends and family may think you are okay. Many people do not understand the extent of trauma endured by rape and sexual assault victims. Your body may look fine, but you still need time for emotional and spiritual healing.

As time passes, you may have a variety of feelings, thoughts, and reactions to what has happened—most victims do. At times, you may feel guilty about what happened, even though you did nothing wrong. You may feel shocked that something so terrible could have happened to you, and sometimes you may even pretend or deny that it happened at all. You may feel embarrassed that you are a victim of rape or sexual assault, and you may worry that people you do not want to know will find out what happened.

At times, you may feel very angry—angry at the person who hurt you, angry at your family and friends for not understanding and maybe even angry at the world for letting such a terrible thing happen. Sometimes you may feel depressed or hopeless and lack interest in people or things you once enjoyed.

You may experience changes in your eating and sleeping patterns. You may have nightmares or flashbacks about the assault. Certain sounds, smells, or other sensory experiences may trigger these feelings and fears. You may be afraid of being alone, or you may fear being in crowds. You may also fear that the offender may have infected you with a sexually transmitted disease, such as HIV/AIDS, or that you may become pregnant.

Whatever your reactions or fears may be, support and help are available for you. We will assist you regardless of whether you decide to report the assault to the police.

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